Tube strikes....

I was going to use this time to write a nice long article about the impending tube strikes on New Years eve...But, quite frankly, I can't be arsed. So, instead, I'll just say this - London Underground staff are all cunts!

(Those that are members of the RMT are, anyway)

Oyster cards are useful and anything that reduces my need to queue up for an hour just to speak to some chav behind a glass window who doesn't speak English or know the first thing about manners is OK in my book!

Unions are shit. Just shit. Shit shit shit shit. And Crap.

The Great British Empire

Once upon a time Britain conquered America and Australia not to mention a ton of other countries in far flung portions of the world. America and Australia are vast countries with some areas experiencing sunshine throughout the year.

This begs the question - What the fuck are we still doing on this shitty little Island?!!!

Why didn't we move the whole country out to these places?

The weather today is bloody awful and very typical of Britain - Our Christmas cards should show this weather on them, not snow - and, yes, I realise the rest of the country is covered in snow right now, but London [being the most important place in the UK] is experiencing Britain force 5.

Britain force 5 being the most extreme of the 'Britain' classification for weather - Generally summarised as Grey and miserable.

Welsh pride...

I'm not one of the welsh people who go on about being welsh or get annoyd with the English...but this article did make me laugh...

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/29122005/140/char-s-karaoke-pressie-gav.html

http://www.sky.com/showbiz/article/0,,50001-1207333,00.html

Copy Here (Yahoo version) and here (Sky version)


(for thos of you who don't know, Gavin Henson plays for Wales, not England)

I took great pleasure in e-mailing Sky to tell them that they were wrong and that BBC is a much (much) better source of actual news!

You are entering a Doffing zone....

And people think I can be pretentious...

http://www.thechap.net/

More Creationism / Religious shit!

Creationism is great! Fantastic stuff. Now I have something amusing to spend my work days doing!!

Some more web sites for your to peruse....classic quotes also included:

http://www.csama.org/CSA-INFO.HTM - The Creation Science Associationfor Mid-America
CSA is a non-denominational, independent, non-profit, educational and research corporation whose members are concerned about the widespread false teaching called "evolution". The widespread acceptance of this false notion of origins has resulted in physical harm to millions in this century alone, in lawlessness in our society, in the deprivation of a proper relationship with their Creator for countless people

http://www.creationism.org/mp3/index.htm - Creationlism MP3's - download them to your Ipod now for fun and excitement!

http://www.sloppynoodle.com/php/viewpaper.php?paperid=3742
Jesus, my lover,Built me a new hope,Cherished me with love,

Monkey!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/4564150.stm

Bloody booze!

Hangovers are a pain in the arse.

I'm hornier than the mongrel offspring of the late night antics of a prize winning bull and a wild african rhino!

------
>>Sent via mobile phone<<

Snooowwwwww.....

Well. White blurry stuff outside the train window.

You have received a new message, originally uploaded by Gareth Bathers.

Message text

Some sense in America at last!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4545822.stm

Creationalism banned.... Fan-fucking-tastic.

The best web site in the world ever...!!

This web site is bloody great. Anyone that knows me will know that I am an atheist and find anything to do with god or religion absolutely stupid.

This web site teaches kids about 'creationalism' and all other related crap.

http://www.users.bigpond.com/rdoolan/

Some of my favourite bits are:

When talking about how the great flood covered Everest (Any geologists reading this?)
Before the [Great] Flood, the mountains were not as high as today, and the ocean valleys were not as deep. Mount Everest and other high mountains were pushed up by the enormous underwater volcanic activity of the Flood (“the fountains of the great deep” — Genesis 7:11) and carved out by the rapid draining away of the waters into the ocean valleys.

Is Creation Science Scientific?
Some evolutionists believe that creation science is unscientific because it doesn't use naturalistic explanations. But science is a search for knowledge, so truth should be sought even if it leads to a creator.

Christian teens don't need piercings...
Although the Bible doesn't forbid piercings, we believe there is no reason for Christian teens to have them. Like tattoos, it usually just draws attention to your body instead of to Christ. You need to ask yourself why you want one. If it is because you think it will make you seem cool, you are wrong. It will cost you money for something that may give you bad health problems.

And, finally, the e-mail I have just sent to them:
I would just like to say that your web site is the best web site I have seen in a long time.

I spend many a lunch hour looking for a web site to divert my attention from the monotony of work and, as I am unable to access porn, your website has really done the trick! I must admit that I have not laughed as much at a web site in a long time.

Thanks a million, please be assured that I will be passing on the link of your web site to everyone I get drunk with in the pub tonight and may even scream out your name in ecstasy while sleeping with both of my unmarried girlfriends afterwards.

(The bit about the girlfriends was 'poetic license', of course).

That's an arm full....

I'm going to the doctors to give a blood sample tomorrow. I'm worried for three reasons:

1) I imagine it's not the most pleasant of experiences.

2) It's more personally revealing than walking into the nurses office, stripping naked, bending over and sticking my arse in her face.

3) What if the results are bad?

Not the kind of advert I would expect to see on the Reuters web site...

I still have no idea where Hemel Hempstead is..

But the smoke has now reached as far as my house according to the BBC (and HSBC I assume).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/4518026.stm

Quite an amazing picture (although maybe it's just a rain cloud?).

Geek sues Microsoft for having to leave the house as Xbox Breaks..

Bloody Americans. This is getting to be a familiar theme in many of my posts.

The Xbox 360 has teething problems. So what. Most new technologies do. But for one geek, Robert Byers, it's just too much that his beloved console keeps crashing. So much so, that according to the BBC "The lawsuit, filed on Friday in a federal court in Illinois, seeks unspecified damages and litigation-related expenses, as well as the replacement or recall of Xbox 360 game consoles."

What a knob head. I bet he expects to get millions just for not being able to play games (grow up!!) and heaven forbid, he must have had to leave the house to file the lawsuit...or can that be done over the internet in America? Wouldn't surprise me.

The NHS is shit!

Just shit. When I get a chance I might just write about why it is so shit. But for now, well, just believe me when I tell you that it is shit. Public servics in this country are in general prety shitty.

Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Prizes awarded for "crude, tasteless sexual depictions in published literature". According to the BBC the award's purpose is "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it".

Something tells me sales of the winning book will go through the roof now!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4488848.stm