Things you never expect people to say...

"...and currently study Media Studies at London Metropolitan University- and hating it because it's so boring and a difficult course."

What?!!

http://www.myspace.com/grace_1987

Not the brightest, me thinks...

Yeah, I was looking up random girls, again....before you ask.

Monkey!! (another one)

yup...all my blogs from now on are going to be youtube videos...

Gonna regret that in the morning...

Just heard a couple having a fight outside the house. The guy used the best line ever...

...no, you need to get over yourself. You need to get over your chips....your dips...you need to get over yourself.

Once he'd finished his little speech, she walked off and he followed sheepishly behind...obviously got nowhere else to go. Poor Bastard's just screwed any chance he was gonna have of sex tonight. I pitty the fool.

------
>>Sent via mobile phone<<

'Bathers' without the 'S'

Just had an e-mail from the lead singer of a band called "TheTechnical" (no, they're not big). Seems he's called "Luke Bather" or, to his mates; "Bather".

That's some weird shit that.

http://www.thetechnical.co.uk/

Jonesey and *that* Ironing Board

The (in)famous moment put to music....

Dirty Version

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Romantic Version

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Dtrunken Texts

of too. I've won no money and am drunk. At

Fuck simp.

and..

many siemeies.

Ever Onward IBM...

Without giving anything away about who I work for...

http://barry_froggatt.users.btopenworld.com/songbook.html

How good is that? I think they should bring it back!

My personal favourites...


TO OUR I. B. M. BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"

1. Our I. B. M. Directors are all great commercial men;
They’re U. S. A.’s financial kings of learned acumen.
They give us their experience and untiring efforts when
They’re serving the I. B. M.

2. Their wisdom in directing this world service Company
Is yielding benefits to all and our prosperity.
Our I. B. M. promotes good-will and sterling honesty
For all Humanity.

Chorus
Here’s to I. B. M.’s Directors,
And our many fine Stockholders.
International Peace Promoters,
Now known as I. B. M.


TO OUR I. B. M. GIRLS
Tune: "They’re Style All the While"

The office girls surely are always in style,
They greet you with smiles, their welcome’s worth while.
The best in the world are our girls, rank and file,
They’re style all the while - all the while.

They’ve made our I. B. M. complete and worth while,
They work and they smile-so sweetly they smile;
Tall, short, thin and stout girls-they win by a mile -
With heavenly styles all the while.



OUR PRESIDENT'S MOTTO: "THINK"
Tune: "Yankee Doodle"

1. T-H-I-N-K spells THINK --
Our President Watson's motto.
It saves mistakes, lost time and ink.
You'll then do what you ought to.

2. T-H-I-N-K is THINKI
'Tis good for brain and body,
Then dark blue visions change to pink.
And you'll please everybody.

Chorus
T-H-I-N-K that's THINK --
Get ideas big and wholesome;
And you'll not be the missing link,
You'll learn from Mr. Watson.

The difference between the UK and Italy

British advert:



Italian advert:

It's the Airlines Fault!

Well, no. It isn't. Your holiday may be ruined, but big fucking deal. The police have just foiled an attempt to blow up planes...a plane you could have bloody well been on!

Why must the British people always grumble about this shit.

"There are babies crying. Nobody is telling us anything". Bla bla ba. Get a life.

You ungrateful little shits.

I hope I drown or get blown up...

Why the hell would I want to be embalmed?

Look at this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embalming

Not only am I dead, but some guy gets to wash me down and play with my dead skin to get me to look "normal". I'm dead, the last thing I want is to look like I'm not dead.

If I never get around to writing a will, I hope someone reads this and realises that I do not want to be embalmed or displayed or anything. When I die, I want to be cremated straight away. No embalming, no displays, nothing.

Sometimes I look around me and realise that we really are not as 'developed' as we think we are! What's with this fascination with retaining all sorts of stupid 'traditions'....Like embalming, fox hunting and the worst of all...Religion!

Chaaaaav!!

Welsh Chavs are the best. Look at this guy...

http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=14564020

I love his "favourite drinks"..."Stella Artois, Kronenburg, Grolsh and Strongbow".

6 days on gadgets

Seems I've managed to spend 6 days worth of pay on gadgets from www.ebuyer.co.uk in the last year.

That includes a monitor and digi camera (yes, another one). This one is waterproof and unbreakable tho, so should last longer than the usual ones.

Bolivia Bug

My second favourite thing about this video is that the caption for it give by the poster is "This is a caterpillar that Andrew found on the patio. When you touch it, it rolls up into a ball. He says it is a "Puss" caterpillar. God is astounding in the variety he put into creation". Which is obviously bullshit. But I like to be angered in this way.



The best thing, however, is this response...great stuff (you need the volume on)